


Friggin' witches (and their friggin' bad breath)

by samthesasquatch



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, De-Aged Sam Winchester, Fluff, Gen, Humor, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-01-05 15:13:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1095497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samthesasquatch/pseuds/samthesasquatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's POV.<br/>Whilst on a stupid witch hunt, me and my brother Sam end up stumbling in to the fountain of youth. Yup, you heard me right. This story is basically about the weirdest week of my life. It doesn't help that my twenty seven year old brother needs a god damn pacifier and diaper.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hasta la vista, baby

Friggin' witches and their friggin' bad breath. I swear I can almost taste the deep fried newts that she must've eaten earlier that day. It's sick man, just sick. I resist the urge to gag, then throw a left hook punch hitting her square in the jaw, sending her sprawling. She then makes a grab for my throat but I manage to then kick her, sending her smashing through the window. Hasta la vista, baby. I guess you could say that whole no hitting women rule flew out the window.

"Man, I'm hilarious. Ya hear that Sammy? I should just give up huntin' and become a comedian." I say, smiling proudly to myself. My smile soon turns in to a frown though as I don't hear Sam making any kind of witty remark. Not even a "Whatever you say, Dean' or 'Shut up, Dean' or 'Cas makes better jokes than you, Dean'. 

"Sammy?" I question, eyebrows raised slightly as I look around the empty room. Son of a bitch."Sam!?" 

I storm outside in to the 'garden' (friggin' jungle if you ask me) and right smack-bang in the middle is the fountain of youth. Yup, you heard me right, the fountain of youth. Sounds kind of ominous to be honest. I bet you're asking yourself, hey, are you going to use the fountain? Ha, good one. No way josé. I'm as gorgeous and youthful enough as it is. My skin's smoother than a baby's...yeah, so not going there. Anyway, the one who really needs it is Sam, I swear to God I noticed a grey hair on that guy yesterday, I'm not even kidding. I've always suspected he was an old man in a young dude's body. A serious 'benjamin button' case you got there. 

I abruptly stop mid-thought as I notice the old...well, now the _young_ hag holding Sam's head under the fountain's water. "Son of a bitch...you let 'im go, ya hear?!" I yell before grabbing on to the back of her shirt, pulling her off of him and on to the ground. I then manage to drag Sam out of the icy water before the witch yanks me backwards by my amulet.

"Christ!" I choke as I search my jacket's pocket for my knife. Finally, I find it and spin on my heel, stabbing her clean through the neck. Her body flops on to the ground in a pool of dark blood, her lifeless eyes staring up at the night's sky. "Now that's...that's just plain nasty." I mutter under my breath, looking at the body with a look of disgust. Damn witches. 

When I turn around, what I see makes my breath catch in my throat. "...Sam?" All I see is a pile of his clothes and some sort of creature...(please not a dog, please not a dog) squirming around from underneath them. I think the real question here is, if Sam's clothes are on the floor...does that mean Sam's running around buck naked? 

I take a tentative step towards the pile and almost jump out of my skin as a baby tumbles out. "What the...?" What was a baby doing...oh... _oh_...oh crap. 

"Sammy?"

The baby looks up at me, it's lower lip trembling before he bursts in to tears. I quickly run over to Sam and pick him up, cradling him in my arms. Yeah, yeah...sappy, I know...but he's my brother, okay? 

Out of habit I start to hum some Metallica as an attempt to calm him down. Funnily enough, it eventually works. When he stops crying altogether, I can't help but say "Who's a good boy? You are! Yes, you are." But let's forget that the baby talking ever happened, alright? I mean, he's technically my twenty seven year old brother. It totally didn't happen. Ahem...right, on with the story. 

"Dammit, Sammy. What've ya gotten yourself in to this time?" I sigh, letting Sam's head rest on my shoulder as he drifts off in to a light sleep. He looks to be old enough to be maybe 2 years old? I groan and reach for the phone in my pocket whilst adjusting Sammy in to a more comfortable position. This was so messed up.

I dial Bobby's number, waiting for the onslaught of insults he'd be sending my way in just a few seconds. 

"Hey, Bobby." 

"...Dean? You two manage to finish the hunt in the end?" 

"Yeah...about that..."

"What did ya two idjits do this time?" 

"Well, Sam...he's kind of...how do I put this?"

"What did you do to your brother, Dean?"

"Me?! What? I didn't do anythin'. It was the friggin' witch."

"Go on."

"He's a baby." 

"You called me up just to insult Sam?"

"No, he's literally a baby, Bobby!"

"..."

"Say something!"

"Is this a joke?" 

"God dammit, no!" 

"Balls." 

"What do I do, Bobby?"

"This is way out of both of our leagues...just...just go back to your motel room, okay? Baby proof the place and look after your damn brother. I'll call ya back when I figure something out." 

"Thanks, Bobby."

"Idjit." 

I was about to retort with some witty comeback but by the time I'd thought of something, he'd already hung up. "Great, just great. You and your bad luck." I say, shaking my head. 

Walking back to the motel room, I stop mid-step as I hear rustling behind me and spin on my heel to face whoever...whatever it was. 

"Dean." 

I could've recognized that voice anywhere. "Cas? Jesus, man. How many times have I told ya not to do that?!" 

"I apologize Dean, it will not happen again." 

"Right, well...that's okay then I guess." I reply, feeling awkward under his gaze. 

Cas tilts his head and looks at Sam strangely. "What's wrong with Sam?"

"How did you know...? Never mind. Some damn witch dunked him in some magic fountain water, blah blah blah, now he's a dribbling mess."

"He doesn't appear to be dribbling." 

"It's a...ugh, forget about it. I just need to get 'im back to the motel room until I can figure something out...or until Bobby does, whichever comes first."

"I'll accompany you."

"You don't need to, it's nothin' I can't handle." 

"I did not say that. I just wish to accompany you to the motel room." 

"...Fine. _Fine. But no angel zap--"_

Before I could finish my sentence, Cas had already used his angel mojo to do exactly what I didn't want him to do. 

"--ping." I finished, just in time for Sam to puke all over my jacket.


	2. Son of a bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean shops, Sam speaks and Cas is fed up with the lot of them.

I swear I could actually buy a damn house with all the baby supplies Sammy needs. If... _when_ he gets turned back to normal, he's going to pay me back big time. 

Now back to shopping. Right... diapers, diapers, diapers. I need diapers...I mean, Sammy needs diapers.

I walk in to the packed supermarket and eventually find the baby aisle. To be honest, I've never really had the occasion to visit it, so when I see the contents for the first time, I abruptly stop in my tracks and stare at them in shock. Is this some kind of joke? How many friggin' types of diapers do babies need? How the hell am I supposed to choose one? 

I decide to grab the cheapest one and hope to hell that Sammy doesn't cry and bitch about it. They've got batman's logo on so to be fair he should find them pretty cool...for diapers that is.

Right, next on the list is...a pacifier. Okie dokie, seems easy enough. I quickly glance over all of the options until I see one that's pale blue and has 'Mute button' written on the front. Perfect. I grab it, chuckling to myself as I throw it in to the basket. This is totally pay back for Sammy puking all over my awesome jacket. 

After picking out all of the baby supplies, I make my way to the clothes aisle. Oh, crap. I don't even know what age he is. He's tiny, is that even a size? I stare helplessly at the options when suddenly I feel someone tap me on the shoulder. "Huh?" I say. (Probably the most intelligent thing I've said all day). When I turn around, I notice a brunette who looks roughly my age holding a newborn in her arms. She has a little girl of about 3 standing beside her with blonde pigtails. 

"Sorry, I don't mean to intrude or anything but you look kind of lost." she replies, offering him an apologetic smile.

"Oh, it's fine...you're actually kinda right. Y'see I've got this uhh...nephew who I'm looking after for the next few days and well, he needs some new clothes but I don't actually know what size he is." I lie with ease.

"I could help you out if you want?"

"You'd do that for me? Awesome, thanks. It must be my lucky day." 

She laughs a little, adjusting the baby in her arms. "So, I'm guessing you don't know his age as the sizes are according to age." she points out, the corner of her lip twitching in to a smile.

"Uhh...well, n-yeah. You're right." 

"Okay, well...how big is he roughly?"

I think for a moment before placing my hands in mid air, in a kind of 'Sammy shape'. 

She nods knowingly. "Sounds like he's roughly 18 - 24 months." She then searches the clothes and takes out a couple that roughly match his size. "There you go, these should be fine." 

I grin and take the clothes happily. One is a superman t-shirt, another is just plain blue and there's a green plaid shirt that goes with it. Definitely Sammy's style. She also gave me some socks, shoes and pants.

"Awesome! Thanks uhh...?" 

"Lindsay." 

"Nice t'meet ya Lindsay, name's Dean." 

"Well, I'll see you around Dean." 

"Yeah, see ya."

 _ **Back at the motel**_

Unlocking the door to the motel room, I step inside and shut the door behind me. Balancing the shopping bags as best I can, I dump them on to the small table by the window and glance around the room. What I see makes my mouth drop. "Son of a bitch." 

Cas was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring hopelessly at me while Sam was sitting on his lap, naked and covered from head to toe in pen marks. To top it all off, he was chewing on Cas' tie. 

"Your brother is incorrigible, Dean." he stated.

At that, I burst in to flat out laughter. I hadn't laughed like that in years. "That's my boy." I said, grinning from ear to ear as I picked him up. "I think you need a bath, kiddo." 

"No." Sammy said, his lower lip protruding in to a pout. It was the first thing he'd said since the change. I'd been starting to wonder if he could even talk at all.

"Sorry?"

"No, no, no." 

"Well, you need one Sammy." 

"NO." 

"Listen to your brother Sam, he knows what's best for you." Cas interrupted.

"No." 

"Is that the only word y'know?" I asked with amusement.

"No." 

"If you keep giving me that bitchface it's gonna get stuck like that. Anyway, seeing as I'm the eldest here...well, excluding Cas of course, the guy's ancient...that means I'm in charge and what I say goes. You're having a bath whether ya like it or not." I said, earning a glare from both the angel and my brother.

As I walk in to the bathroom with Sammy, Cas rifles through the shopping bags, inspecting everything that I'd bought. "Don't break anything, Cas!" I call out to him.

"I am not one to be clums- oh." 

"What?"

"Nothing, Dean." 

"You broke somethin' didn't you."

"No."

"Now don't go pullin' a Sammy on me."

"It is not broken. I just misplaced one of the wheels of the plastic car.

I sigh but the corner of my lip twitches slightly in to a smile.

"Forget about it, just be careful Cas."

"Yes, Dean." 

I turn back around to look at Sam who's dribble is now dripping all over my wrist. "That's just nasty, Sammy." I comment as I place him on the floor so that I can fill up the tub with lukewarm water. However, I notice just in time that he's trying to crawl away so I quickly shut the door which earns me a small temper tantrum from Sam. 

"Woah man, I thought you were supposed to like getting cleaned up. I mean you _are_ the one who always takes 2 friggin' hours to take a god damn shower." 

While the bath fills up, I sit on the lid of the toilet and place Sam on my knee. “It figures that you’d be the one to turn in to a screamin’ kid.” 

“No.”

“Jesus Sammy, don’t start that again.” I swear to god this guy is trying to give me a headache on purpose.

“No.”

“Son of a bitch. No more no’s dude! D’you even know what that word means?”

“No.” 

“Aww c’mon, man. Gimme a break here. You’ve gotta know some other words, right? Okay how about…what’s my name?”

“Son’na bitch.”

“…What?”

“Son’na bitch, son’na bitch!” he says, getting all happy and excited as he gives me a gap toothed smile.

“You little…CAS! Sam is swearin’ at me!”

“I think that might be unintentionally your fault, Dean.” He calls back from the other room.

“What? How’s that my fault? He’s just bein’ a little bitc- Oh. _Oh_. But I can’t help swearin’ Cas, it’s like one of my main personality traits.” 

There’s no reply but I can tell that Cas is mocking me. 

“Cas is a dick. Repeat after me Sammy, Cas is a…” 

“Dean.” I hear Cas say from next door.

“Ugh, fine. Fine, I’ll _try_ and stop swearin’. That’s as good as it’s gonna get.” I respond, whilst plonking Sam in the shallow bath and turning off the tap. 

After washing him, I realise that Sam actually did enjoy the bath (crying for nothing, typical Sammy behaviour). Next, I put him in his Batman and Robin pyjamas, then he decides to go off crawling towards Cas. 

Now for the hard part…getting my hyperactive brother to go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for those who commented/gave kudos' last chapter. It really helps motivate me to continue writing my stories, so thank you and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	3. Bedtime story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean reads Sam a story to get him to sleep.

"There you go." I say, a small smile playing on my lips as I tuck Sam in to my bed. "That wasn't so bad." I add, eyeing Sam suspiciously. Putting him to bed was easy...too easy. I wait for a few seconds, wondering if he's going to start crying or screaming but nothing happens. Weird. However, I must've spoken too soon because as I sit in front of the TV next to Cas with my feet up propped up...

"Dee." I hear a small voice calling.

"Dee!" More persistent this time. 

"What is it Sammy?" 

"DEE!" 

I sigh and trudge over to Sam. "You've got one hella pair of lungs don't ya? What is it Sammy?"

"S'orry." 

"Sorry...?"

"S'orry!"

"For what?" For being a pain in my ass? Or your awful haircut? Or for that time you fell asleep and drooled on my poor baby...I mean, car.

"S'orry." Sam insists with some other baby words added on which don't make any sense. His lower lip protrudes in to a cute pout when he realizes I still don't understand the gibberish he's spurting out.

"He's trying to say story. He wants to be read to, Dean." Cas calls from the couch, his gaze not once leaving the TV...and what was he watching? Was that...? Of course. The babysitter and the pizza-man. That dude had a seriously unhealthy obsession, that's for sure.

"How d'you know? S'not like you can understand baby."

"I can."

"You what?" 

"I can understand the language of infants. It is quite easy really and highly interesting."

"Of course you do." I reply, rolling my eyes. What couldn't that angel do? Damn nerd.

"You want to be read to Sammy, huh?" 

His little head covered in a mop of hair nods twice. 

"Okay well...uhh...there was once a boy named Sammy who had a brother named Dean and..."

Sam looks up at him expectantly, already in awe by the story that was being told. 

"They would hunt monsters together. Scary little monsters that hide in the closet and under the bed."

The baby stares at him in horror but also a sort of fascination...like the story was familiar to him.

"But one day, Dean made a mistake and Sammy was put under a spell by a fugly witch." Fugly? That was almost a compliment to her.

"Nooooo!" 

"Yeeeeeesss but don't worry, Sammy because, his big scary brother fought the witch and saved him because brothers look out for each other, right?"

Sam gives me a big gap toothed smile and claps his hands.

"And then Dean found a way to get rid of the spell and they lived happily ever after with lots of pie and....well, okay maybe another time, s'probably not appropriate for your young ears." I tease, laughing a little. Happily ever after my ass but getting rid of that spell would be a start. 

"Yay!"

"Now, you'll go to sleep or I'll tickle you to DEATH." I say menacingly but I still wore a mischievous smile that plastered my face.

"No! No sleep." 

"You wanna test me, Sammy?" I reply, raising an eyebrow as I reach over and tickle him on the tummy, resulting in him squealing and squirming from the tickle attack, clawing at my arms with his little chubby hands as he tries to get away.

"How about now?". And just like that the kid's eyes shut tight.

"Who da man?!" I yell as I hear the first little baby snore. 

"Shh, he's sleeping." Cas replies, rolling his eyes.

"Who da man?" I whisper. "I'm da man." Have I really resulted in speaking to myself? Wow...how the mighty have fallen. All this baby stuff is turning me into a softy. Ugh. Sammy so owes me.


	4. Cherry Pies & Puppy Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean notices that Cas has been acting somewhat hostile towards him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Thank you so much, I've had the greatest responses. It really means a lot to me! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did writing it.

**"Dean."**

" _Dean_." Cas repeats, more forcefully this time.

"One more hour..." I mumble in to my pillow.

"No, Dean." he repeats, yanking the blanket off of me causing me to shiver but I don't make any further advances to waking up. "Sam's acting completely juvenile and unmanageable...I'm afraid to approach him." 

"Wha--?" I say, finally blinking my eyes open, turning to face the wide-eyed angel. "You're afraid of a  _baby?_ Gimme a break." 

"He found the remainder of your apple pie, Dean. I tried to prevent further disarray but he was… savage. He grabbed a handful of the dessert and hurled it at my face."

I tried my best to fight down the bubble of laughter that arose in my chest but failed miserably, receiving a look of disdain from the angel. "Good one, Sammy." I say, my smile almost hurting my jaw.

"You are laughing at my misfortune."

"That I am. So, where _is_ General Zod?"

"I don't understand..."

"Where's  _Sam_ , Cas?"

"I put him in the empty bath to avoid further mess."

"Well, that's one way of doin' things I guess." I mutter as I clamber out of bed. "I'll go sort 'im out."

"Thank you, Dean." Cas replies, completely oblivious to how close he was standing in front of me.

"Personal space, Cas." I grumble, feeling my face flush slightly as I gently push past him, making my way in to the bathroom. I open the door and raise my eyebrows at the sight of my little brother. "That's...that's just gross, Sammy." I say, wrinkling my nose. He was in the tub, apple-pie in his hair and smeared on his face, big guilty eyes staring up at me. "I was gonna eat that, y'know." I add with a pout, taking off Sam's PJ's before filling up the tub.

In the other room, Cas calls out to me, "Dean your phone is ringing."

"Pick it up, Cas."

"Now what...?"

"I swear to God, man...I meant  _answer_ it." 

There was a brief, almost  _painful_  silence before I could finally hear Cas say "Hello?"

"He is such a child." I mumble under my breath. How did I end up with  _two_  kids? So much for me being the immature one. Despite being in the other room, I overhear what Cas is saying with mild interested. I hope it's Bobby.

* * *

 

_"Who is this?"_

_"No, I'm his friend."_

_"Well, he failed to mention your amorous affair to me."_

_"Like the Tango?"_

_"Is that a euphemism?"_

_"Well, I am an Angel of the Lord so yes, I would know."_

_"I don't -- Hello?"_

* * *

 

"Cas, what the hell? Who was that?" I ask after I notice that the conversation has ended. Shaking my head, I wonder what goes on in that crazy head of his. I honestly have no idea what he’s is talking about half the time.

"Mandy."

"...Mandy?"

"She said she was an ‘exotic dancer’.” He replies with air quotes.

"...Ohh yeah, I remember now. Man, what a night.”

There are a few moments of silence before the familiar _whoosh_ sound of Cas’ wings is heard and I know he’s no longer in the room next door. Was it something I said?

Shaking my head slightly, I turn off the faucet and begin to wash the pie off Sammy's face. Then out of nowhere, Sam grabs a handful of bubbles and plasters them on my face with his two chubby palms. Great, now I look like friggin' Santa. "Thanks a lot, Sam." I tell him sarcastically, earning a gap toothed smile from the youngest Winchester. 

As I pick Sam up and bundle him in a monstrous towel, my stomach growls. “Perfect. I’m hungry and you’ve eaten my pie.” I pout like a child that’s been denied chocolate. “I guess a trip to the diner’s in order, Sammy.”

The baby just looks up at him perplexed for a few moments before a string of babbled nonsense makes its way out of his mouth.

“Hmm…interesting. Mind if I right that down, kiddo?” I tease, carrying him in to the bedroom then placing him gently on the bed while I look for his clothes. Soon, I come across a packet of diapers, pants, socks and a purple t-shirt with a picture of a dog plastered on it. “It won’t start your baby modellin’ career or anythin’ but it’s somethin’ I guess.”

* * *

The diner was desolate this early in the morning. The only other customer was an old lady who was flicking through a magazine in the far corner of the room. I walk inside with an air of confidence, holding my little brother close my chest. Sitting myself down in one of the booths by the window, I place Sammy on my lap.

Just then, Cas materializes in the seat opposite us, making my heart beat painfully in my chest from surprise. I was never going to get used to that damn angel mojo. “Hello, Dean.” He murmurs, his voice husky.

“Dude, cut the zapping crap out!”

“How else would you expect me to appear?”

“Through the door..?”

“I’m an angel. Doors serve me no purpose.”

I roll my eyes. My attention however; was soon averted by the striking young waitress with fiery red locks. “Hey…Sarah.” I greet, taking note of her nametag as I send her a flash of my pearly whites.

“Hey, yourself.” She retorts, a small smile playing on her glossy lips. “So, what’ll you two…three, be having?” Sarah says, correcting herself as she spots the drooling mess that is Sammy.

Cas just gives her a cold, hard stare but I don’t take much notice of it. “Don’t suppose you’ve got any _pie?_ ” I ask, a hopeful gleam in my eyes.

“That we do. Cherry’s the only one we have in stock though.”

“Cherry’s good. I’ll have that…and Sammy here’s already eaten so…” I began but was soon cut off short as he spoke up.

“Sammy cho’lat.” he ordered, tugging on my shirt as he gave me those adorable puppy-eyes I hated so much. That damn look was so irresistible; I was ready to sign a petition to make it illegal.

“But you already ate my pie, little guy.” I tell him, trying to weasel my way out of his evil master plan.

“Pwease. Pweaaase Dee’.” Sammy begs, his baby brown eyes tearing up.

“Dammit, Sam.” I grumble, turning to face the waitress again. “And d’you have anythin’ with chocolate?”

“We’ve got hot chocolate.” She explained, giggling slightly at the baby’s expression of pure contentment.

I ponder for a moment, then remember I had the baby kit with me. “I know it’s askin’ a lot but could put a small amount in this bottle?” I asked, holding it up for her to see.

“Sure thing.” Sarah smiled, giving me a snappy wink as she left, taking the bottle with her.

“D’ya think she’ll give me her number?” I question Cas.

“Why must you persist on philandering?”

“Phil—what?”

“Frequently entering casual sexual relations with women.” He states bluntly.

“God, Cas. Don’t sugar coat it or anythin’. S’none of your business why.”

“Are you embarrassed by your answer?”

“Shut up, Cas.” I snap back, my face flushing furiously.

“Or is it because you are afraid?”

“…Afraid? The hell are you talkin’ about?”

“I think you know what I mean.” he responds, his head tilting to the side slightly.

“Well, you’re wrong…” my voice trails off as Cas vanishes again. “Son of a bitch!”

The waitress, arriving with the pie and bottle looks at me confounded but doesn’t mention the fact that she just saw him shouting at thin air. Angry _and_ crazy were total turnoffs. She places the tray gently on the table and leaves without a word.

“Cas is such a friggin’ child.” I mutter under my breath, sighing as I drag the palm of my hand across my face.

Pushing the thoughts about the damn angel in to the recesses of his mind, he glances down at the already sleepy-looking baby, whose head was nestled in the nook of my arm, his eyes looking straight up at me. Testing the temperature of the drink on my wrist just like I’d learnt when I was feeding Sammy all those years ago, I let him drink from the bottle. I fix my fascinated gaze on him, a small smile forming on my face as Sam greedily grabbed the plastic from my grasp.

“Dude, relax. It’s not goin’ anywhere.”

Neither are you, I thought, frowning somewhat as my brow creased in thought. What the hell was he going to do about the damn witches spell? And what the hell was he going to do about Castiel’s weird behavior? 


	5. As you wish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby finds a cure and Dean and Cas have their first kiss.

It had been three days now and Sammy's curse was really taking it's toll on me. Feed me, Dean. Wash me, Dean. Read me _'Goldilocks and the three bears_ ' for the millionth time, Dean. I was going to lose my mind. Now don't get me wrong, I love babies and caring for them is like second nature to me. After all, I've had to act like a parent/brother to Sammy my whole life. Still, I missed Sam, the _real_ Sam. The sasquatch book-worm who would steal all the hot-water during his shower and annoy the hell out of me. That was the Sam I missed the most and honestly, little brother's were supposed to be pains in the backside anyway, right? 

To top it all off, I hadn't seen Cas since two days ago at the diner and I was starting to get worried. Hey, don't look at me like that! I'm allowed to be worried, he's my _friend_. Seriously though, had I really pissed him off that much, yesterday? Maybe I should apologise.

Wait. _What?_ Hell no!

I have nothing to apologise for. I'm the one who should be pissed off right now. Cas was the one who was interrogating me with riddles and storming off like a moody teenager. If he wanted to hide in his angel bedroom and sulk, then that was fine by me. 

Grabbing my phone and tossing a glance over my shoulder at Sammy who was transfixed on the TV, I call Bobby.

* * *

 

"Who's this?"

"Dean."

"Hey, Dean. Is ya brother, alright? Don't tell me I've got somethin' else to worry 'bout now."

"Yeah, yeah...he's fine. Well, if by fine you mean he's thrilled by the sight of the friggin' teletubbies, then yeah. Not to mention Cas has gone AWOL."

"Suck it up, Dean and stop mopin' around."

"Gee thanks for the support."

"Well, complainin' ain't gonna do ya any favors. Besides, I might'a found us a cure."

"Seriously?"

"Yup. There's a spell that seems to crop up a lot in the pagan texts. Light three candles and place them inside a circle. Then, gather up some rosemary, mandrake and a lock of Sam's hair and place it in a chalice or bowl in the centre. Chant ' _Tui gratia Iovis gratia sit cura._ ' three times then light it up."

"And you think that'll work?"

"Y'know I can't guarantee it, son. But it's our best shot."

I sigh, dragging the back of my hand across my forehead. I really don't want to mess the situation up anymore than I already have. What else could I do though? The spell was all we had. "Alright. Thanks, Bobby."

"Don't mention it, kid. Now go 'n get your brother back on his feet." he adds gruffly.

"Literally." I mutter, but Bobby's already hung up the phone.

"Sammy, I'm gonna grab some stuff outta the Impala, 'kay? Just... _stay here_ and don't cause any trouble." I tell him, slowly and clearly, as if he had a clue about what I was going on about. Then, I step outside the motel room backwards, my eyes still transfixed on the baby whose sight was now glued on the small TV screen. When I turn around though, I almost jump out of my skin as I find Cas just standing there, right in my face which makes me lose my balance. Thankfully, Cas reaches out and grabs my arm, pulling me back upright. 

What happens next though is friggin' crazy. No, it's damn right **_insane_**. Cas doesn't just catch me, he pulls me real close so our noses are almost touching. I inhale sharply. Then, gripping my collar, Cas closes the small gap between us, pressing his surprisingly soft lips clashing against mine. My body tenses in shock but it soon relaxes in response. Then much to my surprise, I  kiss him back hungrily, feeling his tongue run lightly across my teeth. Woah, what the hell? Where did he learn that?! Then almost instantaneously, my mind catches up with my body and I finally realise what is happening and I push him away roughly. My face flushes furiously and I don't  _dare_ to make eye contact. "Dude, what the hell was that?" I snap, my heart beating painfully against my chest from the exhilaration. I was **_not_** going to admit that it was the best damn kiss I'd ever had.

"I read your mind. You have wanted this for a while."

"I'm not _**gay**_ , Cas." I spit back, swallowing nervously.

"Technically I'm neither male or female. I'm an angelic entity."

"I don't care about that bullshit. Your vessel or whatever is a _**dude**._ "

"Would you prefer it if I temporarily changed vessels?"

"Dammit, Cas! No!"

"But you kissed me back."

"I...I...no I didn't." I stammer, feeling my face grow hot.

"Why does it matter? I like you Dean and I know you like me back."

"You're confused."

"I can assure you I'm not."

"I... _like_ you Cas _but_ as a _friend._ "

"Maybe I should come back when you feel like facing your true feelings."

"You don't know anythin' 'bout me."

"But I want to."

"Just don't, Cas. I can't deal with this right now."

"As you wish." he mumbles, his tone strangely softer than usual.I could have sworn there was also a twinge of sadness hidden under that bullet-proof facade of his. Then, as if he was never there, he disappeared, leaving me alone, guilty and confused...not to mention _humiliated._ Thank God Sam wasn't there to see me like this. Slamming my fist down on the roof of the Impala in frustration, I proceed to pop open the hood of the car and glance over the hunting equipment inside. Right, first things first, candles...candles...candles...Aha! I take out three candles and a sacrificial chalice. Next, I tuck some rosemary, chalk and mandrake in my jacket's pocket. There. Now I could finally sort out this mess. "Thanks baby." _I totally didn't say that out loud._

I sigh with relief as I spot my nightmare of a brother in the same spot, albeit trying to walk over to me but failing miserably. He just kept falling over and picking himself up again. "Ten points to Gryffindor for effort, Sammy." I grin, placing the ritual items on the floor and scooping him up in my arms. 

"Now, you're gonna have'ta sit still while I cut some of your _...beautiful_ hair off." I explain, grabbing a pair of scissors from the bathroom then placing Sam on the bed. Kneeling to his height, I take out the scissors, ready to cause mayhem on his precious mop of hair. "Right, just sit still for me -- Ow! Son of a bitch!" I yelp, feeling his small baby teeth chomping down on my wrist. "You little..."

Sam just glares at me in return. Are babies even supposed to glare? I think I can understand why Cas was so scared of him now. _Cas._ Nope, not going to think about him now. No _way_. No.

"This is for the damn witches ritual...I just need a teeny tiny amount, alright kiddo?"

"No!"

"Well, that's just tough luck." I respond, carefully and ever so slowly approaching the ticking time bomb.

"Noooooooooo!" he shrieks, baby tantrum in full swing.

"Cool it, Skywalker. This is for _your_ benefit." I explain, then with speed and skill I manage to cut a lock off his girly hair.

He just stares at me, mouth agape, eyes wide while I do my little victory dance. Sam can't believe his family, his _own_ brother would do something so spiteful.

"Who's batman? I'm batman." I grin, holding up the lock of hair with pride.

Now time for the ritual. Kneeling down on the floor, I lift up the rug, drawing a circle out of white chalk. "Looks more like a seabear circle..." I mutter under my breath. Oh God, now I was quoting Spongebob? Damn kids' TV. This baby Sammy thing _had_ to stop, it was ruining me.

Next, I grabbed the three candles and took out some matches, swiftly lighting each one. Then, I picked off pieces of rosemary and mandrake, chucking them in to the chalice before adding Sam's hair. "Here goes nothing..." I say, chewing my lower lip nervously.

" _Tui gratia Iovis gratia sit cura_.... _Tui gratia Iovis gratia sit cura_.... _Tui gratia Iovis gratia sit cura_..."

Chucking in a final match, the concoction bursts in to monstrous blood-red flames. _Freaky._ I turn around to face Sammy, who was just looking at me with a confused expression on his face. "Are you _kidding_ me? It didn't work?" I yell, kicking the chalice over with my foot, oblivious to the transformation that was happening behind me. "Don't worry Sammy, I'll figure somethin' else out." I sigh.

"Figure what out, Dean?" a small voice speaks up, making me spin around in shock. 

What had he done to deserve this? Well, this is just **_peachy_**.

 

 

 

 


End file.
